I’m still writing poetry about you, brother of my heart. One of the many thing I never told you that I did. I love you and I always will, but I hope you burn in hell you abusive bastard.
Have I told you about the man who hates me?
I think it’s because I’m queer
More specifically, because I’m a dirty tranny
Ever ask someone how they’re doing?
Only to receive a glare that says “die, faggot, die.”
He despises me
And I hate him too.
So, um, I haven’t really been using this site much, and that’s kinda my bad for lacking on the poetry and the ranty rant, so, like, I’ve gotten back into writing, and my writing blog (focused mainly on Persephone at the moment) will be https://unrepentantdisgrace.wordpress.com/
Come follow along. I;ll still keep this around for ranty rants and bitching about trans shit, but I may just do a massive purge of all the posts.
I chose the pomegranate
To escape one hell for another
Such is my lot
Cursed by the Fates
Under Demeter controlled
He offered me freedom
At terrible cost
A share of the kingdom
The dead down below
And her pretty cages
For the land of my choice
Prompt: War breaks out between the legions of hell and heaven, humanity joins and surprisingly is winning against both
Angels came flying
Then Demons and dying
Mankind prepared for the fall
What they didn’t see coming
Was mankind’s great cunning
And soon we conquered them all.
`My recommendations. Don’t do progesterone unless you’re with a doctor, There are too many side effects to worry about.
I recommend starting with pills. Estradiol valerate 2 mg pills. (several brand names and generics are available) common dosage is 2-6mg. (source) Start with 2mg, if that isn’t enough, you can increase. Self medding with injections is a bad idea unless you’ve had them before and know how to do it. Take the pills sublingually. That way they don’t pass through the liver twice. It’s more effective and healthier in the long run. These are what mine look like. (link) I’m currently on 6mg after 2 years. I started the first month with 2mg, moved to 4mg, then recently upped them to 6mg. I’d have probably stayed with 4 without having a doctor.
Here are the common side effects that can occur. Another tab at that same link has drug/food/disease interactions for estradiol.
I can’t really recommend cyproterone acetate (Antiandrogen) if you live in the U.S. and plan on getting a doctor eventually. It is a better drug, but I have no general experience with it. If you are in Canada or the U.K., ask around, you’ll get better advice from someone there. I use Spironolactone. This is what it looks like. (interactions and side effects are also at that link) I’ve been on 200mg since I started. 1 pill in the morning, one in the evening. Common dosage is 100-200mg. (source)
Spiro is pretty dangerous. It’s a potassium sparing diuretic. Drink lots of water. You’ll need to make sure you’re getting enough water soluble vitamins and minerals, especially calcium and salt without having too much potassium intake. It’s hard to eat healthy. You’ll start cramping up really badly if you get too much potassium. That’s your warning sign.
I had to lower my spiro dosage temporarily because I was getting dizzy spells. So watch out for those too. A lot of people start with 100mg. I started with 200, and I’ve been ok, but I’m also a larger person.
It is important to get your hormone levels tested. There are services that will do this for you. Certain labs are walk in, others need an appointment. It costs around $300-$400 usually without insurance. Sometimes more. Here are what normal hormone levels are for treatment.
Additional resources here: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Clinical%20Protocol%20Guidelines.pdf (some of the links are broken in that one.)
Last thing, please be safe and get your meds from a reliable source. It’s still not legal, but it’s safer.
Recently someone I know clocked me. Then they said that they see me as whatever I say I am. Oh thank you for deigning to see me as a woman. I love that you showed me your ability to accept or reject my womanhood. I hate myself for feeling grateful for the acceptance.
Erasing my existence
From your memory
And hoping someday
I guess I’ll speak.
With my lost voice
Of what is gone
And nothing gained.
And all is lost
We still run
But relentless hunt
All is lost
All is lost
Even when you know you’ve got limited time
Even when you’re expecting it
It’s never enough
And it hurts