Surgeries available for trans women and CAMAB non-binary folx.

A 101 guide to get you started.

Not everyone will want or be able to have any or all of these procedures done.

Part 1. Genital surgery

A. Orchidectomy: the removal of the testicles, a surgery that can be done on its own, or as part of another form of genital surgery. It is the procedure with the least amount of risk, and least amount of recovery time. As with any procedure, there are risks including but not limited to chronic pain and infection. If done prior, it can complicate some forms of vaginoplasty, but it will not prevent you from being able to get a vaginoplasty later should you so desire.

B. Vaginoplasty: the construction of a neo-vagina and vulva. Prep includes getting permanent hair removal via laser hair removal or electrolysis from the penis and scrotal sac. Each surgeon will have their own guidelines for this. And each surgeon will have a slightly different proprietary technique.All of these procedures have risks including but not limited to: chronic pain, infection, and death. Typically you will need at least 2 letters from different licensed psychologists and another from your doctor to be able to receive a vaginoplasty. Following are the most common procedures

      1. Penile inversion: The penis is disassembled and parts are repurposed for the clitoris and vaginal lining. The urethra is shortened, and the scrotal tissue is used to form the labia. This is the more common technique used in North America and Europe
      2. Scrotal inversion: Sometimes cannot be done after having an orchidectomy prior due to problems with skin elasticity. In this procedure, the scrotal sac is used to create the vaginal lining and parts of the penile tissue are used for the clitoris and the labia. This is the most common technique used in Thailand.
      3. Shallow canal vaginoplasty: Harder to find, and how it works depends on the surgeon. This is useful if you have certain health problems that won’t allow you to have other forms of vaginoplasty or if you aren’t interested in penetration. Healing is easier and quicker than other forms of vaginoplasty. More commonly available in thailand, but I believe Dr. Marci Bowers performs this technique as well.

Other non-standard genital surgeries are available but extremely hard to find, and usually are more expensive as well. Also they entail more gatekeeping.

Part 2: Breast Augmentation.

Also known as Mammary augmentation. Not recommended for people who haven’t been on hormones for at least 4 years. Your breasts will still be growing in that time, and that can severely mess up the results. Many types of implants and techniques are available, so consult the surgeon you will be working with. The three main materials used for augmentation follow.

      1. Saline: one of the safer materials. If your implants pop, it will be absorbed by the body.
      2. Silicone: much more dangerous but can create a more “realistic” feeling breast.
        1. Multiple types of silicone implants are used
      3. Fat transfer: Liposuction is used to take fat from another part of the body which is then implanted in the breast. Creates a natural feel, but can only be used for small size increases.

Part 3: Other procedures

A. Voice feminization surgery: Raises the pitch of your voice. Voice training is generally more effective, and doesn’t carry the risk of complete vocal loss. Vocal feminization surgery alone will not change the way your voice is perceived. Over half the women I’ve talked to who have had the procedure have regretted getting it done.

B. Tracheal shave: Reduces the appearance of the adam’s apple. Sometimes performed as part of facial feminization surgery. Voice needs to rest for 3 weeks after the procedure.

C.Facial Feminization Surgery: A group of surgeries performed together to increase the femininity of the face. Can include but not limited to

      1. Rhinoplasty: commonly referred to as a nose job
      2. Forehead contouring: removal of part of the bone from the head, eyebrow lift, and a scalp advancement
      3. Cheek augmentation: to create fuller cheeks. Multiple techniques are used.
      4. Mandible contouring and chin surgery: to create a more feminine jawline.

Part 4: sources.

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-augmentation.html#content

http://www.supornclinic.com/

http://marcibowers.com/mtf/

all the various trans women I’ve known over the years

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginoplasty

http://professionalvoice.org/feminization.aspx

http://brownsteincrane.com/facial-feminizing-surgery-ffs/

She said she didn’t want me

So this is what dating someone

Then no longer dating that someone feels like.

I should have seen this coming

And parts of me wonder if she was ever really interested.

Or if she was just going along because I was.

I know she found me attractive once…

I know that it was real

I know I still love her

But not in the way I did

I care deeply still

But the romantic feelings vanished

In the very moment

She said she didn’t want me any longer

I already miss her

And what we had

But I don’t want to be with her

AIN’T THAT SOME FUCKED UP SHIT

So pain will be pain

A nice clean heat

Burning in place

Of the fire I once had for her

Until it consumes itself

And once again

We’ll be friends

Like we were in the beginning

Religion

Well, it has been quite a while since I talked about religion. But I kinda want to distract myself from certain memories this time of year brings up, and the suicidal thoughts that go along with them.

So, I’m kinda a semi-practicing eclectic pagan now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a non-practicing Discordian and materialist atheist with no belief in any spiritual forces, but I enjoy the ritual. It has it’s uses. It focuses me, and helps  me deal with certain things. And I like the way the turning of the seasons is marked. It feeds me.

Hell, I don’t think this will really make sense to anyone, partially because I’ve kept it pretty vague, but this really isn’t about you anyway.

But I don’t really find community with anyone through religion. All of it still feels so alienating to me.

Anyway, that’s where I am.

Is this hell?

CN: christianity, abuse, trans stuff

Like, sometimes I wonder if I’m in hell. See, one of the things I was taught, or should I say indoctrinated into, is that God’s presence is absent in hell. And I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in gods. But maybe that’s because they really don’t exist on this plane of existence and I’m being punished. I mean, like, why else would I have to go thru the dysphoria, intense chronic pain, and all the rest. Sometimes I wonder if all the abuse is just background that’s inflicted upon me as another form of torture.

So, I don’t actually believe this is the case. I’m not that narcissistic. But yeah, I got some mental issues and hang ups left from when I was Catholic. That shit is toxic, y’all.

poem: Living with The Raven.

content note: Suicide. 

Living with The Raven*

I’ve got a note in my head
allocating possessions
attempting to explain

An apology of sorts
for my failings
and lack of strength

It changes from time to time
but it’s always been
as long as I remember

I live with this note
a reminder
of my way out

No one has ever seen it
and if they do they will cry
but I will weep no more.

 

*reference to Edgar Allen Poe

a poem about longing

Clouds Through the Ceiling

The quiet girl in the corner
Sits waiting
Dreaming of touch
And desires not yet fulfilled

The quiet girl in the corner
Waits her turn
To be real
And to breathe in.

This poor lonely girl
Still believes in love
And desperately wants
Things she cannot name.