Archive | February 2013

Discussion posts- Meta

Hello, bloglings.

I’m going to start a series of discussion posts. They will be collected under The discussion posts page. I thought I’d lay out my reasoning, and put down some ground rules.

There are some things I want to get opinions on, and I want people with lived experiences to talk about. I lack a lot of knowledge in certain areas due to my upbringing. References are great, but they won’t give you feedback like real live people do. And there are other things that are considered taboo by cultural standards, that I wish to discuss. Remember there is a difference between harm and offense.  I have other thoughts and reasons, but this is all that I’m able to articulate at this point.

Ok, Let’s lay down some:

ground rules

  • No matter how old  a discussion is, feel free to join in. I’m always listening.
  • I want your feedback.
  • Be respectful, this isn’t the place for mocking people. 
  • Ignorance and questions are OK. Harm is not.
  • No Slurs.
  • If you are going to talk about how your belief system affects a certain issue for yourself, be descriptive, not prescriptive.
    • Example: “My belief structure enforces monogamy, so even though I lean towards polyamory, I’m monogamous.” is OK. “People in open relationships are going to hell.” is not.
  • Stay on topic as much as possible. derailments will be moved to another post. Intentional derailments will be met with extreme prejudice. Yes I am the final arbiter there. This is MY space.
  • These rules might be adapted with time and needs of the blog, and apply strictly to discussion posts only. Otherwise my normal comment policy applies.

upcoming posts

  • monogamy & non-monogamy
  • kink & fetishes

That’s all for now, See y’all in the comments.


always look a gift horse in the mouth

But Emily, That’s Rude.

Yeah. So?

It’ll save you a lot of pain and grief. Let me tell you a little story my bloglings. I was in a car wreck a while back and was without transportation. My grandfather  was just told by his doctor that he couldn’t drive anymore. So He gave his old truck to me. I was very grateful at the time, and knew that I’d have to do a few repairs, but that ultimately, it was a very good thing.

Boy was I wrong. That truck kept breaking down. Fix one thing, have to repair another. It got very expensive. Not to mention the cost from all the lost work. Add to that the low gas mileage. (I commute 35 miles a day round trip to work.)

If I had just gotten a reasonably priced used car back then, It would already be paid off. Instead I’m saddled with debt.

Examine all your decisions. Even what gifts you accept. Skepticism is your friend.

I was a man, once.


This poem is dedicated to all my fellow travelers who have helped me reach this point.* Hopefully I can help someone the way you have helped me.


I Was A Man, Once

I was a man, once
I spoke as a man, walked as a man,[1] thought as a man[2]
Most see me as a man
I am a man no longer

What is a narrative?[3]
A myth
A story to explain the unexplainable
No more valid than Adam & Eve[4]
Why do they matter again?

What’s in a name?[5]
Nothing when imposed
Everything when chosen
Reflecting worlds of truth

Am I trans enough?[6]
Why should I care what you think?
I don’t need your validation.
I know who I am now.

References / Allusions

  1. Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons  Walk like a Man
  2. I Corinthians 13:11
  3. Natalie Reed “I Always Knew”
  4. Genesis 2-5
  5. William Shakespeare  Romeo and Juliet Act II scene 2
  6. Erica, Ascendant i’m a “fake trans girl” and i hope you are too

*Thank yous

There are too many to name, and I’ll probably leave a few out, but these are some of the people that helped get me to this point where I accept who I am.  I’m using twitter handles or blog titles where I can find them. In no particular order:

  • Natalie Reed @nataliereed84
  • Erica, ascendant
  • Lydia Neon @LifeinNeon
  • Rumplestiltsqueer @PrincexAchilles
  • Zinnia Jones @ZJemptv
  • Quirk @nonviolentrage
  • Drew Jacobs @Rogue_Priest
  • Sarah Christine @TheODSTGirl

There are many, many, others; as well as others who have helped me in different ways. If I didn’t mention you here, it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful.

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I really need some time in queer space.

I’ve had a hellacious couple of days. Things I’ve been subjected to:

  • Transphobic jokes and remarks from just about everyone I know.
  • Homophobic rants, including one from someone who knows that I’m bi going off about their straight cis boss calling him a, “Queer ass, cock-sucking  ass-fucking, son of a bitch.” and someone else who doesn’t know about me talking about how he doesn’t hate gay people, but he doesn’t want to see them kissing in public. Well, there was a lot more detail, but let’s just leave it at that.
  • More than the average homophobic jokes on my double shift at work today
  • Having to witness some extreme sexual harassment of a co-worker, and not being able to stop it. At least she knows that I’ll be a witness for her if she wants to go to HR.

So yeah, Straight cis people, I really don’t want to hear from y’all right now. I think I’ve heard enough.

Give me your pictures.

I want photos to base sketches off of. If you submit one I may choose to sketch it, but no guarantees. All comments are moderated  so if you do not want your photo shared, you can put that in the comment. I may still post the sketch, but I won’t say who it is in that case, or post the photo.  All sketches remain property of me, photos may be published, so include credit for photographer, but the photos remain your property, and will not be published if you put that in the comment, as stated above.

Submission Guidlines:

  1. Pictures of yourself only, can include others in the photo, but all parties must give consent
  2. Photographer consent to publish photos, and photographer credit, Pictures will not be posted without photographer credit and consent.
  3. natural only, no “posed” photos.
    1. Posed photo, This is an example of what I do not want.

      Posed photo, This is an example of what I do not want.

    2. See the guy in the white shirt in the above picture who doesn’t know he’s being photographed? Perfect. Example sketch:
      1. I was three pints in when I was doing this one, but the expression captured is the important thing.

        I was three pints in when I was doing this one, but the expression captured is the important thing.

        When people aren’t posing, they let their actual emotions and expressions show. That’s what I’m interested in.

  4. No blurry photographs.
  5. No photoshopped pictures.
  6. If you’ve got a video of yourself, I can pull a screenshot off of that, but I need the same credits as before.
  7. I may re-contextualize the image, I may alter certain features, I’m not going for photo-realistic, I’m using them as a jumping off point.
  8. If you have any questions, ask away.