I really need some time in queer space.

I’ve had a hellacious couple of days. Things I’ve been subjected to:

  • Transphobic jokes and remarks from just about everyone I know.
  • Homophobic rants, including one from someone who knows that I’m bi going off about their straight cis boss calling him a, “Queer ass, cock-sucking  ass-fucking, son of a bitch.” and someone else who doesn’t know about me talking about how he doesn’t hate gay people, but he doesn’t want to see them kissing in public. Well, there was a lot more detail, but let’s just leave it at that.
  • More than the average homophobic jokes on my double shift at work today
  • Having to witness some extreme sexual harassment of a co-worker, and not being able to stop it. At least she knows that I’ll be a witness for her if she wants to go to HR.

So yeah, Straight cis people, I really don’t want to hear from y’all right now. I think I’ve heard enough.


6 thoughts on “I really need some time in queer space.

  1. Things will start looking up, I promise. I hear a lot of transphobic and homophobic remarks all the time. I know how tough it is, but I also know that you’re given the life you have because you’re the only one strong enough to handle it.
    Cheers mate.

  2. @ growing up lgbtq
    Well, I’m going to break this reply down into a couple of different parts. I don’t know if I’m talking to Ian Passwaters, Lena Hageman, or Tatyana McCauley, and my response would be different depending on who I’m talking to, but I’ll try to generalize.
    1. Thank you for the support. I appreciate the spirit in which the comment was made.
    2. I don’t know if you read any of my blog, but I’m a little to old to be your demographic, this colors my experience in a very different way than you are used to.

    Consider everything from here on as addressing points you have made, and most of it under a trigger warning.

    3. You may hear transphobic remarks, but as someone who is dfab, you do not have to deal with the pervasive trans-misogyny that I and other dmab trans people do. It is a different experience. When I was growing up, the only portrayal of a trans woman was Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, a trans-misogynistic comedy where a trans woman is the villain, who is degendered, mocked, beaten, and sexually assaulted to the cheers of the audience. Trans men got Boy’s Don’t Cry, a positive, though tragic portrayal. If this is Lena I’m speaking with, don’t compare your vicarious experience of transphobia to my direct experience with it.
    4. Religious platitudes are not comforting to an atheist. I haven’t been given the life I have because I’m strong; I’m trans and bi/pan because of natural variation within species and luck of the draw (well that’s the simple version anyway).
    5. With nearly half of all trans people having attempted suicide**, with a very high success rate, as well as the enormous rate at which we are beaten, raped, and killed, the idea that we are tough enough to handle it is extremely inaccurate, and frankly, because it dismisses the problems we face, insulting. Hell, I myself have held a knife to my wrist, so the “planning” stage bordering on an attempt, but I haven’t gone over that edge. I’m not strong. I’m barely hanging on.
    ** technical term, any potentially lethal act is considered an attempt.
    6. Don’t call me, “mate,” “dude,” or anything of that sort. I’m not a guy, don’t refer to me as one.

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