I don’t know if this post is going to make any sense. I’m very tired and can’t sleep.
I’m learning to cry.
Cry in front of other people.
This is an alien experience for me.
For the longest time, I couldn’t cry. I simply wasn’t able to. Now I am. Ever since I started the process of transitioning. But even still, I don’t ever cry in front of other people. Until recently. It’s a strange wonderful vulnerable experience. It allows me to be sad without being depressed. But it’s still unsettling to me. I feel bad for making someone else sad. So I apologize, even though I have nothing to be sorry for. I’ve got to learn to stop doing that. I’ve got to internalize the idea that it is OK to cry. To accept their support. To be human.