I’ve lost the night.

I miss the night. I’ve lost all access to night spaces. The first time was temporary. When I ended my friendship with one of my abusers, he threatened me with a metal pole. After that, I didn’t think I was safe going outside at night while I still lived near him. Then I moved.

But when I moved, I started living as the woman that I am full time. I’ve experienced a fuckton of harassment, transphobia, and trans-misogyny. The other night I was propositioned while walking alone with a plate of food in my hands.

The night no longer belongs to me. It belongs to them. The ones with the power to harm me or not as they so choose. I used to wander and take long walks at night. I no longer can. I’ve lost the night.

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2 thoughts on “I’ve lost the night.

  1. I’m sorry that you lost the night. But I don’t think it’s permanent–or, well, I hope it’s not. I walk at night, too. And while I don’t face the transphobia that you do (and, seriously, I’m sorry the world contains such assholes), I still encounter the misogyny and sense of entitlement from men. Makes me wish I could be your walking buddy, but, y’know … I don’t know if we even live on the same continent. (Plus, I recognize that it’s a little weird for a complete stranger to offer that over the internet.)

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