I keep seeing this fucking article. It’s so gross. It means well, but it’s super fucked up. At first all I saw were criticisms by trans women. Now I see “Allies” posting it around and praising it, so here’s a response you can link to.
About four years ago, I was an exchange student in Thailand, a country known for its large, open transgender population. While most men avoided trans women, I saw no difference between them and cisgender women (women who were born biologically female). I was attracted to trans women, in other words, and I spent the next three years of my life in confusion and shame.
Well, lets talk about how he talks about Thailand later, but first, “Shame.” Because it’s so fucking shameful to be attracted to us. This is transmisogny, cissexism, and homophobia. It’s shameful because “we aren’t really women” so it’s gay. Fuck YOU.
I came across two terms that described what I was feeling. Trans-attraction and trans-orientation. Neither one is official or common, but their use is growing due to the increasing demand for a way to categorize people who are attracted to transgender people.
Also known as, you aren’t really women, you’re something else entirely. Because trans men and non-binary people don’t exist I guess? Fuck YOU.
I don’t always describe myself as trans-attracted, but the label helped me feel like I had a place in the queer community and it helps others understand my sexuality.
And here we have the straight guy appropriating queerness. They only way you would think of yourself as queer is if you don’t see us as women. Fuck YOU.
My year in Thailand made it a second home for me, and I returned last spring for a study abroad semester. Once again surrounded by the transgender community, I started thinking about my sexuality almost every day and this inner conflict re-arose
This comes off as some really fucking creepy racialized fetishization. Why does this guy keep making a big deal specifically out of Thai trans women.? Creepy.
Also, inner conflict. Yeah, that only happens because you don’t see us as women. Fuck YOU.
It was the shaming of trans-attraction that was ridiculous — not my sexual orientation.
Well then thanks for increasing all that shaming in the first half of your article. And your sexual orientation isn’t anything but straight.
One was fear of rejection. It must be so painful to be turned away and shunned by someone you like because he does not see you as a “real” woman, whatever that means.
Oh, you mean like someone who will adopt a whole new label just to distinguish his attraction to you from attraction to cis women. FUCK you.
Finally being open about my sexuality was liberating for me, too.
Says the straight guy.
I’ve had enough of this shaming. It’s created a disgusting culture of trans-attracted men using trans women for sex but never forming a committed relationship with them. Most trans-attracted men are only trans-attracted at night. Then, during the day, they run back to their heteronormative relationships with cis-women of whom they are not ashamed.
Yeah, people treat trans women like shit. Why are you giving these assholes an excuse?
So yeah dude. GO FUCK YOURSELF.