Brother of my heart.

I’m still writing poetry about you, brother of my heart. One of the many thing I never told you that I did. I love you and I always will, but I hope you burn in hell you abusive bastard.


She said she didn’t want me

So this is what dating someone

Then no longer dating that someone feels like.

I should have seen this coming

And parts of me wonder if she was ever really interested.

Or if she was just going along because I was.

I know she found me attractive once…

I know that it was real

I know I still love her

But not in the way I did

I care deeply still

But the romantic feelings vanished

In the very moment

She said she didn’t want me any longer

I already miss her

And what we had

But I don’t want to be with her


So pain will be pain

A nice clean heat

Burning in place

Of the fire I once had for her

Until it consumes itself

And once again

We’ll be friends

Like we were in the beginning

Poem: she went to smith

She Went to Smith*

You knew

You knew exactly what you were doing

You talk all about how you support us

How you believe in our rights

You were supposed to be my friend

You knew that by making that choice

You knew you were benefitting

From my oppression

And you did choose

How could  you?

How dare you?

You chose to go

You chose to benefit from my oppression

And tried to call me a friend

But you knew

And that makes all the difference. **


* Smith college still has many trans misogynist policies. If you can’t get your school records changed, you can’t get in. They actively discriminate against me and my kind. She knew this before applying.

**  Allusion to The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost



New poem: My favorite cousin

content note: Childhood sexual abuse, incest

My Favorite Cousin

My favorite cousin
When I was young
Sexually abused me
And my family still doesn’t know

About what happened
About the trauma

And my favorite cousin
Sexually abused me
When I was young
And I still hurt
And feel disgusting

And my family still doesn’t know

He was young too
A child himself
And innocent

He didn’t know
What he’d done to me
The pain that would last

And I can’t hate him
My favorite cousin
From when I was young
That would be simple
And that would be easy

But my favorite cousin
Sexually abused me
And didn’t know the harm.

New poem: NO

Content note: Rape


I asked her to stop
And she stopped
And I cried
Tears of gratitude

She didn’t rape me
And I’m so grateful

My Agency
My Autonomy
My bodily integrity

Have never been respected

And I’m still not prepared for it
And I’m still not expecting it

And I’m still so grateful

That the ones I care for
The ones that love me