Tag Archive | Christianity

Well……. That was a fucked up conversation.

So, I just got off the phone. Somehow, despite my best efforts, Tim brings up atheism. He always does this late at fucking night when I can’t think right. Fucker. He starts going on about how atheists are just like 9/11 truthers. “They’re always asking for more evidence, They get really mad when you don’t agree with them, come on man, you know I’m right, YOU’RE just like them.” What the Fuck? Seriously. That’s how you escape the burden of proof. Fuck you. The difference is that the 9/11 truthers are offering a theory that contradicts the evidence. Of course I didn’t say that. Instead, I told him that I would rather not get into atheist/christian debate right now. I told him that if we got into it, we probably wouldn’t remain friends much longer. This guy.

So then he goes into how much it pisses him off when someone tries to change the subject. Now get this shit. He says that if I really piss him off, “I could really fuck up your life with one phone call.” He’s referring to outing me as bisexual to my parents. I go dead silent. What the fuck do you even say to something like that? It’s hard to even describe how that made me feel. What a fucking betrayal. A slap to the face. An utter repudiation of everything that we have ever done for each other. I think that my ability to hear even went out momentarily. Next thing I hear over the phone is him saying “hello?” I respond that I’m still there. The next part is a little blurry, even though it just happened. I tell him that I need to know if what I just heard was what he meant, that he would out me to my parents if I pissed him off enough. He got mad at me for believing that he would actually do that, that he was joking around. That, “after all I’ve done for you, do you think that I would do something like that to harm you?” You know what, I didn’t say this to him, but that is exactly why I don’t trust him with anything personal anymore. I don’t fucking trust him. He’s manipulative. He’s constantly tearing me down. And now, because I trusted him, he has power over me until I come out to my parents as Bi. This is one of the many reasons he doesn’t know I’m trans*. He doesn’t even bother to hide his contempt for me for being an atheist like I showed above. And I never knew how ridiculously homophobic he was until I came out to him. Why the fuck did I ever waste so much time, effort and emotion on this guy? And now, I have to pretend like everything is normal, because he holds power over me. I’m even going to hang out with him tomorrow. I feel like crying.

At times, atheism can be very comforting.

This is something no one seems to talk about. The positive emotional effects of being an atheist. I wonder why.

I was driving home from a “friend’s” house, when I started crying thinking about, “why? Why do I have to be this way? Why can’t I just be normal? Why do I have to deal with this shit?” Then I remembered something. I am the way that I am because of natural variation in the species, and I just happened to get the short straw in life. See, there is an explanation for why I’m trans*. No god did this to me, it’s just a natural part of life.  I don’t have to beg and plead to a supernatural entity with the false hope of changing, I can just deal with the cards on the table, make a plan, and get on with life. It was very calming. Reality has that effect.

I no longer have to fear hell, or the wrath of an unjust god. Any pain, any misery this life brings me will eventually pass, so why not try to be happy? It too, will eventually pass, so I might as well make the most out of this one life that I do have.

Religion, on the other hand, never gave me comfort. When I was young, I had a pretty severe anger problem. Prayer never helped with it. In fact, prayer made it worse. Only after being taught a secular version of meditation was I able to get control over my anger. Belief in god never brought me comfort. God was judge, jury, and executioner, and no one could ever live up to his standards. I crushed my sense of self, I crushed my attraction to guys, and never had a chance of being happy because I was a true believer in Catholicism. Prayer never calmed me. I was taught that god helps those who help themselves, so I never had any hope that God would do anything for me, but that I was still supposed to rely on him anyway. Religion fucked me right up. Even after I left Catholicism, even after I left christianity all together, none of the religions I tried out ever brought me comfort. Because I was relying on something that was never there for me. Once you realise that there is nothing to rely on, the universe makes sense, and you can just get on with your life. And you don’t have to worry about all the stupid arbitrary rules.

I think the reason most atheists don’t talk about this is that they don’t want to try to sway religious people into deconverting for emotional reasons. They want people to deconvert because of a rational argument. Well, I’m not trying to deconvert anyone here. I just think that the emotional side effects of the atheist world view need to be talked about. We shouldn’t let the religious dominate this dialogue, too. To my atheist readers, what have been the positive emotional effects that you have had since becoming an atheist?

Emily’s adventures in atheism 1

I have a friend. Let’s call him Tim. Tim’s a liberal Christian. Believes in evolution, science and whatnot. He knows that I’m a bisexual atheist. He doesn’t know that I’m trans* and incorrectly thinks that I’m male. Ok so that should do for background information.

So, I’m telling Tim about the Kat Williams comedy routine criticizing evolution. You know, the one going around YouTube. Just trying to lead into the statement he is about to make here. So Tim ends up saying,

“The thing that frustrates me so much about militant atheists is that everyone at some point has to take their position based on faith. Saying that you need evidence is just hypocritical.”

I quickly changed the subject because it was late at night, and I didn’t want to get into a huge argument at 2am.

But let’s deconstruct this statement shall we.

Militant Atheists

I will accept this term when vocal, strident, and anti-theist atheists start trying to ban religious people from holding office in America. I will accept this statement once religious people in the western world are fired, disenfranchised, and widely disowned by their parents for believing in God. I will accept this statement when people use lack of belief in god as a justification for terrorist acts. Don’t get me wrong. Religion does not cause terrorism. That is not my argument. Atheists can commit atrocities, just like religious people do. But they don’t say, “In the name of Dawkins, die evil religious scum,” while doing it.

Everyone, at some point, has to take their position based on faith.

Um, How much faith does it take to not believe something? “The moon is made of cheese.” I don’t believe you. Give me evidence. “You just have faith that the moon isn’t made of cheese, you don’t know, I don’t know, but we both have faith.” NO. I asked you for evidence. If you give me evidence, I will believe you. That is not a faith-based position. I am not making a positive claim.

So how the fuck am I a hypocrite for asking for evidence to back up a claim about existence? I do not have faith that no gods exist. I just want proof before I will believe in any of them.

Also the Abrahamic god does not exist. The Abrahamic god is defined as being all-good, all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present.If he is all good and all-powerful, then he cannot be all-knowing because of all the fucked up shit that happens here on earth. If he is all good and all-knowing, then he cannot be all-powerful. And if he is all-powerful and all-knowing, then he cannot be all good. So the Abrahamic god as defined, does not exist, because it is a logical contradiction. If they want to make their god more believable, they are going to have to redefine him. Not like that would make me believe he existed without having proof to back his existence up.

Now for a brief statement from a coworker:

It’s so good living for the lord.

What the fuck does that even mean? Seriously. What does that mean? To me it is just a statement to tell everyone who isn’t a Christian, that all their problems stem from not being super religious. I mean, come on. This woman has more problems than just about anyone else except for the addicts. And she seems more miserable than most of the people I work with, including the addicts. Ah random insertion of christianity into the workplace. Fun. One of my managers is even trying to recruit a couple of my coworkers to go to his church. It’s great. Yay. Fucking bullshit.

How’s about this excerpt from a coworker (who is in a supervisor position) posting on their Facebook wall:

My kids have never done anything good without the grace of the lord or their belief in God.

What? Why would you say something so demeaning about your kids, or your parenting? So, let me get this right. Your kids completely lack empathy. Your kids have never done anything out of kindness or basic human decency. Your kids have never followed your good example or teaching. Your kids would be complete fucking sociopaths if it wasn’t for Jesus. Nice to know what you think of me. (Yes I am out as an Atheist.)

This is just a very brief example of the kind of shit I see and hear every fucking day. And let’s not get into the homophobia, biphobia, sexism, and transphobia. I’m already depressed enough as it is.