Tag Archive | Comment policy

Discussion posts- Meta

Hello, bloglings.

I’m going to start a series of discussion posts. They will be collected under The discussion posts page. I thought I’d lay out my reasoning, and put down some ground rules.

There are some things I want to get opinions on, and I want people with lived experiences to talk about. I lack a lot of knowledge in certain areas due to my upbringing. References are great, but they won’t give you feedback like real live people do. And there are other things that are considered taboo by cultural standards, that I wish to discuss. Remember there is a difference between harm and offense.  I have other thoughts and reasons, but this is all that I’m able to articulate at this point.

Ok, Let’s lay down some:

ground rules

  • No matter how old  a discussion is, feel free to join in. I’m always listening.
  • I want your feedback.
  • Be respectful, this isn’t the place for mocking people. 
  • Ignorance and questions are OK. Harm is not.
  • No Slurs.
  • If you are going to talk about how your belief system affects a certain issue for yourself, be descriptive, not prescriptive.
    • Example: “My belief structure enforces monogamy, so even though I lean towards polyamory, I’m monogamous.” is OK. “People in open relationships are going to hell.” is not.
  • Stay on topic as much as possible. derailments will be moved to another post. Intentional derailments will be met with extreme prejudice. Yes I am the final arbiter there. This is MY space.
  • These rules might be adapted with time and needs of the blog, and apply strictly to discussion posts only. Otherwise my normal comment policy applies.

upcoming posts

  • monogamy & non-monogamy
  • kink & fetishes

That’s all for now, See y’all in the comments.

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Please take note

I’ve had a very bad day. Several posts are coming. I’m pissed off and extremely disphoric at the moment. If you make my day worse, your comment will be replaced with My Little Pony.

Yes, I know that the show can be anti-skepticism, and that the fan base is toxic. I still like it. If you don’t, I don’t particularly care. If you want to make an issue of it, Fuck Off, and your comment will be replaced.

How not to talk to trans* people.

I recently had a little exchange on my blog with a commenter, John A. David. This is an example of  how not to talk to someone who is trans*. Some of his comments have been edited by me. See this post for explanation.

First, John said this:

 By the way, I am not pissed at all, actually I felt nothing but one thing that you are deeply troubled. I get it why you seem frustrated with your troubles, so do not think I talking about things I do not know. As a teenager I struggled with sexual orientation

No, you do not know what you are talking about. Struggling with sexual orientation is nothing like the hell that is dysphoria. Do you have any idea what it is like to despise the sound of your own voice? So I responded to him thusly:

You have no fucking clue what gender dysphoria is like. Do not claim that you do. It is not like struggling to accept your sexual orientation. I am seriously enraged by what you wrote there. I am trying very hard to remain civil.

Jackass responded thusly:

 Yeah, may be I do not. I also do have cancer but I can still see the pain reflected. Everyone has his own demons to face, you have yours, I have mine. Can you feel what I feel, no way. So in that way no one is different. But my comment was not insulting if that’s how you took it. I only wanted to say, I can see why you are upset. It must be very discomforting for you.

So, John not only didn’t apologize for presumptuously comparing his struggle with sexual orientation to my gender dysphoria, he condescendingly told me not to be offended by it. Well then jackass, how about you go fuck yourself.

Midori Skies (love the name by the way) responded to John:

 Um, wow. That’s even worse than the “I’m sorry if I offended you” brand of not-pology. Your intent to not be insulitng in writing your earlier comment does not somehow magically nullify the offensiveness of your saying that you understand gender dysphoria because you “struggled with sexual orientation”. You do not understand what gender dysphoria is like. There’s no maybe about it.

Thank you. Seriously, Thank you.♥

John came back with:

 I never said I understand gender dysphoria, so I am not sure why would you repeatedly bring this.up. I said, I know how its frustrating when one is struggling with an issue, which for me was sexual orientation

A. Yes, the fuck you did. ” I get it why you seem frustrated with your troubles, so do not think I talking about things I do not know.”

B. Midori Skies brought it back up.

C. It isn’t struggling with an issue. It is looking in the mirror and seeing a man where a woman should be. It is about your sense of self. It is something you can’t escape. And after I transition I have to look forward to the fact that 1 in 12 trans women are murdered. 42% of transgender folkss attempt suicide before transition. Many do not survive to transition. So go fuck yourself, you condescending jackass.

John finished up with this Gem

 anyway, I apologize again for the misunderstanding.

Let me reword this: I’m sorry that you didn’t understand me.

Problems with this:

1. Not taking any responsibility for his fuck up.
2. Blaming me for not understanding what he meant.
3. Even what he meant was extremely condescending.

So John, The only other thing I want to hear from you is a real apology. Anything else will be blocked.

This is what I do when commenters piss me off.

Hello various denizens of my blog, this is your blog mistress, Emily, with a public service announcement. Do not piss me off. This is what happens:

https://callmeem.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/if-you-believe-in-an-omnipotent-god-this-post-will-piss-you-off/comment-page-1/#comment-88

https://callmeem.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/if-you-believe-in-an-omnipotent-god-this-post-will-piss-you-off/comment-page-1/#comment-89

https://callmeem.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/if-you-believe-in-an-omnipotent-god-this-post-will-piss-you-off/comment-page-1/#comment-93

Disagreement is fine, argumentum ad NOMiNOM is not.

Do not be a condescending jackass.

If you apologize for something, you better actually apologize and not give a non-apology.

I am the goddess of this blog, and I can just as easily be Sekhmet as Bastet.

 

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

You can call me Em.

This is a place to collect my thoughts. I am a pansexual atheist trans women. Everyone knows that I am an atheist. Only two friends know that I am bisexual. No one except the internet knows that I’m trans. The closet sucks. Dysphoria sucks. Spam, sexism, cissexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, misogyny, racism, trans-mysogyny, opositional sexism, ableism, and hate speech will not be tolerated. Curse like a sailor if you want, but be respectful to people. Don’t ask for pics. And I will drop the ban-hammer on anyone I like. I am the goddess of this blog, and if you displease me, prepare to be smited.