I was myself, but only some people saw me as such, living back in Alabama. I was riding in a truck with some folx, only one of which I knew, This one guy kept grabbing my thighs in a sexual way, and I kept telling him to stop, so I got kicked out, and I was stranded in Prattville trying to get home to Montgomery. I Finally wandered down to the walmart, (which looked like one of the ones in Montgomery, but context said it was in Prattville) and saw two people I knew from high school. For some reason, both of them saw me as a guy, and when I was telling the story of why I needed a ride, I inadvertently came out as bi, like it was no big deal. One of them, the one that was always cool to me, even though he would never say something like this, said, “I wish I could be like that.” The other one started giving me a lecture on how wrong it is. (context: I went to a catholic school). So now that I just woke up, I’m all sorts of fucked up.
Just woke up. dreamt about being back in my catholic elementary school, with the knowledge and opinions I have now. And I was so angry. I was yelling, screaming at my teachers. Asking them how they can teach kids like us that we’re going to hell amongst other things. Calling them on all the toxic bullshit they taught me over the years. All the stuff I used to believe. I still have so many reasons to be angry. They damaged me.
How do you yell and scream without reverting back to your old voice? I can’t yell in girlvoice.