Tag Archive | Feminism

goddamn Fucking Cis Men

So this happened:

I’m standing on a corner waiting for the walk sign, to get a bite to eat before I go to Walgreens. It’s pretty dimly lit. A cis man bikes up.

Dude: you got any weed?
Me: no
Dude: do you smoke
Me: no
Dude, quizzically: wait, are you a female?
Me: yes
Dude, while staring at my chest, disbelieving: noooo, show me your breasts
Me: —–
Dude, disbelieving: did you do that to yourself???
Me: —–
Dude: on purpose???!!!!

And that’s when I turned and walked away at full speed, skipping the meal, and going back towards Walgreens.

Dude: WAIT!!

And I didn’t hear the rest.

I was shaking for 2 hours afterward.

I really fucking hate assimilationist LG culture.

So, I decided to sit down and waste some time watching “the Gay and Lesbian Comedy Slam.” I figured it would be bad, I mean no even token nod to the rest of the GSRM community, but this shit was fucking horrible. These folks are no more my people than Cis, Straight, Evangelical, hard line conservative Christians.

It started out with a transphobic joke. The first fucking line of the show. Well Y’all can go fuck yourselves right back. It was fucking terrible, misgendering and deadnaming someone, and appropriating “transition” all for the sake of a really shitty joke.

So much racism, bi-phobia, cissexism, and out right transphobia, as well as gay male misogyny. Don’t forget the classism, pro-militarism, and rape culture bullshit. Oh, and we can’t forget the gender role enforcement even within gay culture.

I’m sick of seeing any type of queer folks upholding this kyriarchical bullshit, but the Cis Gay and Lesbian scene has made an entire culture surrounding it. “We’re just like you, only we are attracted to the same sex.” Yeah, and fuck you too. Our entire overculture is toxic, and you want to reflect and be part of those power structures instead of tearing them down. You are not my family. And they will never want you. Call me when you wake the fuck up. We’ll be here waiting like we always have been.

Bullshit—> “transphobic feminists are a tiny minority of feminism”

So, I’ve been hearing this lately, “Transphobic feminists are a tiny minority of feminism,” mostly from liberal cis feminists. Bullshit. And if you’re cis and you say this, Fuck you that isn’t for you to decide.

  1. When 10000 cis women are attending Michigan womyn’s fest, don’t tell me that transphobic feminists are a tiny minority. [source]
  2. Most cis people are transphobic, why should we expect the subset of Feminists to be any different. Just because most of them don’t make it their main talking point, doesn’t mean that they aren’t transphobic.
  3. I will accept that only a tiny minority are actively making it their business to attack trans women, but I do not accept that only a tiny minority are transphobic.

 

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Why intersectionality is necessary.

Because this isn’t an academic exercise.

Because this isn’t a game.

Because these issues affect real people, and if you don’t know how different oppressions interact, you can’t help.

Take feminism for example, if you’re a feminist, you want to make life better for women and others who are marginalized for gender, how can you do that if you don’t understand the way that race, class, sexuality, cis/trans status, ability/disability, and other axes of oppression modify the experience of gender based oppression?

Easy intersectionality fails to be aware of

Ok, let’s talk.

If you’re going to say x marginalized group is oppressing  y marginalized group, you are being prejudiced towards x marginalized group.

Example: if you say, “Black culture is homophobic.” You are being racist. The entire culture that we live in is heterosexist. Why would you single out black people other than racial prejudice?

However if you are a member of marginalized group a, and you say that your community needs to deal with it’s problems oppressing marginalized group b, then you are not being prejudiced towards group a. You are trying to fix problems within your community.

Example: If I say, as a trans woman, “we need to deal with the racism in the trans community.” I am not saying that all trans women are perpetuating racism, I am saying that we’ve got problems that need fixing. If someone who isn’t a trans woman says, “trans women are racist.” they are being transmisogynistic. The entire culture is racist. Why are they singling out trans women other than prejudice?

I may expand on these ideas later, but that’s all for now.

worn

worn ragged

your hatred exhausts me

Why do you hate us so much?

What the fuck did I do to you to deserve such treatment?

Stop using me as your prop.

Stop trying to exterminate us.

That’s what you’re doing.

Extermination by marginalization.

Marginalization. funny word that. Denied housing, work, love of parents, access to shelters. More likely to be imprisoned.  Left to die in the cold.

Marginalization doesn’t really capture it.

And because of luck of the fucking draw I don’t have to deal with racism or colonialism on top of it.

We’re beaten to death, sometimes literally.

We have an astronomically high suicide attempt rate.

 

And you think we worry that you don’t find us attractive.

If it wasn’t indicative of the same attitudes that exterminate us, then I wouldn’t give a shit.

 

 

Allies, what the fuck are you doing to stop this shit?

feminism, we need to talk.

Ok feminism, we need to talk. You’re hurting me, and you’re hurting my friends. I was willing to deal with that, while I thought that you were still doing good in the world. But I just found out what mainstream U. S. Feminism is about.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

Not bodily autonomy.

Not making life better for women.

It’s an argument about whether a woman should focus more on family life or career. This is downright obscene in a country where most women don’t have that choice.

When feminism is only serving the needs of upper class white cis heterosexual women, I want no part of it.

When feminism is actively hurting trans folks, I want no part of it.

When feminism hurts sex workers, I want no part of it.

When feminism ignores people of color, I want no part of it.

When feminism ignores the reality of class, and the way that affects people, I want no part of it.

When feminism upholds the same capitalist structures that keeps people unequal, I want no part of it.

When feminism upholds the kyriarchy, I want no part of it.

 

I don’t know how much longer I can keep using the term feminism to describe my views  when all it does is hurt people, and ignores the lived reality of women.

When will they stop doing this?

XX≠woman

XY≠man

Feminists, you should know better.

Please stop equating chromosomes with gender. When you do, you aren’t just excluding trans* people, but intersex people as well. Some cis women don’t even have XX chromosomes. Some cis men don’t have XY chromosomes. And some people have either XX or XY chromosomes and are neither women nor men.

You know what, while we’re talking, Penis ≠ man either.

I’m sick and tired of going on feminist blogs I like and having to see this shit over and over again. Especially on ones where they say that they support trans* people.

Apparently, I’m a Misandrist. Explaining privilege.

I’ve been told that I hate men. Why? Because I want to see women get equal pay in the workplace. Because I want to see all genders equally represented in positions of power. Apparently I’m racist against white people, too. Why? Because I recognize that life is easier for me because I’m white. And life is fucking shitty and hard for me enough because I’m trans and bi. But I still don’t have to deal with all the shit that Trans women of color do.

Yes, If you are white life is easier for you. If you are straight, life is easier for you. If you are Cis, life is easier for you. If you are a man, life is easier for you. If you are currently able bodied, life is easier for you. If you do not have to deal with any mental issues, life is easier for you. If you have a binary gender, life is easier for you. Deal with it. This does not mean that you have nothing to contribute. This does not mean that sexism, femmephobia, and oppositional sexism. do not hurt you if you are a man.  This does not mean that I hate you. But it does mean that you do not have to deal with the things that I, and other actual marginalized people do.

It means that you may not see how something is oppressive because you don’t have to deal with it every day. I fucking had to write a goddamn post about it not being ok for someone to smack a woman on the ass without her consent in 2012. Because people still think that shit’s Ok. It means that if I say that something is transphobic, you should stop and think for a second before you start explaining to me how it isn’t. I admit that I could be wrong, but I have a much more intimate knowledge of the subject than someone who is cisgender.

This concept is called privilege.  We all have some. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but you need to be aware that some things make your life easier at the expense of others. That isn’t right, and we need to work to eliminate it from the system until equality is achieved. In regards to gender, this fight is called feminism. In regards to race, anti-racism.

If you say that you are against feminism, you are saying that you are against equality.