Yesterday, on my way to therapy, a guy started hitting on me. And he wasn’t creepy, invasive, or harassing. It’s strange the ways that guys flirt. I’m used to girls flirting with me, both queer girls and straight girls (from the before times) flirt so differently from the ways boys do it. This was such an interesting experience.
He asked if I was European because I’m so tall. [5’11″(and I like to wear 3 inch heels, but I wasn’t that day)] He obviously couldn’t tell that I’m trans. (passing is weird) He complimented my perfume. (I wasn’t wearing any) It was so cute. Not my type, but he was kind of a charmer. ^_^
•I define passing as a contextual thing, not a state of being. It describes the way others perceive you at the time, and how they treat you as a consequence. I know some people don’t like the language, but it describes something that is useful to describe. And it’s the language I have to work with.
2. If you are going to flirt, ask first. Sometimes it’s cool. Sometimes it’s not.
3. Hugs. Most of the time, I’m ok with them from people I know. Sometimes I don’t want to be touched though. I’ll make it clear when I do not want to be touched. This is why I like it when people offer hugs instead of just throwing them out there.
4. Cuddles. No. Do not ask for these or offer them to me, unless we are romantic. I do not do platonic cuddles. You have a better chance at having sex with me than getting me to cuddle with you.
5. Don’t ever touch the front of my neck. The side is fine, and can be pretty hot. Same with the back. But don’t ever touch the front of my neck. It’s a major trigger and I will not react well. If you want to know why it’s a trigger for me, ask and I’ll email you or dm you if you follow me on twitter.
6. Unless we are romantic, do not ask for pictures. I will provide them if and when I feel like it. I might ask who wants to see them, in which case you can then request them, but don’t just ask me for them.
That covers everything I can think of right now, but I might add to this later.