Tag Archive | GSM

goddamn Fucking Cis Men

So this happened:

I’m standing on a corner waiting for the walk sign, to get a bite to eat before I go to Walgreens. It’s pretty dimly lit. A cis man bikes up.

Dude: you got any weed?
Me: no
Dude: do you smoke
Me: no
Dude, quizzically: wait, are you a female?
Me: yes
Dude, while staring at my chest, disbelieving: noooo, show me your breasts
Me: —–
Dude, disbelieving: did you do that to yourself???
Me: —–
Dude: on purpose???!!!!

And that’s when I turned and walked away at full speed, skipping the meal, and going back towards Walgreens.

Dude: WAIT!!

And I didn’t hear the rest.

I was shaking for 2 hours afterward.

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I really fucking hate assimilationist LG culture.

So, I decided to sit down and waste some time watching “the Gay and Lesbian Comedy Slam.” I figured it would be bad, I mean no even token nod to the rest of the GSRM community, but this shit was fucking horrible. These folks are no more my people than Cis, Straight, Evangelical, hard line conservative Christians.

It started out with a transphobic joke. The first fucking line of the show. Well Y’all can go fuck yourselves right back. It was fucking terrible, misgendering and deadnaming someone, and appropriating “transition” all for the sake of a really shitty joke.

So much racism, bi-phobia, cissexism, and out right transphobia, as well as gay male misogyny. Don’t forget the classism, pro-militarism, and rape culture bullshit. Oh, and we can’t forget the gender role enforcement even within gay culture.

I’m sick of seeing any type of queer folks upholding this kyriarchical bullshit, but the Cis Gay and Lesbian scene has made an entire culture surrounding it. “We’re just like you, only we are attracted to the same sex.” Yeah, and fuck you too. Our entire overculture is toxic, and you want to reflect and be part of those power structures instead of tearing them down. You are not my family. And they will never want you. Call me when you wake the fuck up. We’ll be here waiting like we always have been.

I came out to my parents

I’ve finally told them I’m a woman.

Well, their response was non-optimal, but good enough. At least they told me they still loved me. I have no idea where things are headed from here with them, but either way, I have a series of long conversations with them ahead of me.

In case you didn’t see it, I’m moving!!! I’ve got a fund-raiser going on to help with the costs. Please donate. I really could use the help. Or you could always donate to my transition fund.

Start spreading the news.

I’m moving to San Fransisco/the Bay Area in August!!!

The place I’m living is getting more and more unsafe. I need to leave soon. And I have friends and loved ones in the Bay. But moving is very expensive. I can’t rely on my parents to help me out here. I’m going to come out to them in mid-July, and they may just disown me. So I need those first month expenses covered.

Everyone who donates will finally find out where I live, and what I look like.

If we reach the $1500 mark, I will post the recipe that made my girlfriend say that I beat out all the best restaurants in San Francisco that we had eaten at while I was there.

I’ll take suggestions for the $2000 mark, and the $3000 goal.

https://www.wepay.com/donations/help-me-move-to-san-fransiscothe-bay-area

spread this as far around as you can please!

Emily <3

Why intersectionality is necessary.

Because this isn’t an academic exercise.

Because this isn’t a game.

Because these issues affect real people, and if you don’t know how different oppressions interact, you can’t help.

Take feminism for example, if you’re a feminist, you want to make life better for women and others who are marginalized for gender, how can you do that if you don’t understand the way that race, class, sexuality, cis/trans status, ability/disability, and other axes of oppression modify the experience of gender based oppression?

Easy intersectionality fails to be aware of

Ok, let’s talk.

If you’re going to say x marginalized group is oppressing  y marginalized group, you are being prejudiced towards x marginalized group.

Example: if you say, “Black culture is homophobic.” You are being racist. The entire culture that we live in is heterosexist. Why would you single out black people other than racial prejudice?

However if you are a member of marginalized group a, and you say that your community needs to deal with it’s problems oppressing marginalized group b, then you are not being prejudiced towards group a. You are trying to fix problems within your community.

Example: If I say, as a trans woman, “we need to deal with the racism in the trans community.” I am not saying that all trans women are perpetuating racism, I am saying that we’ve got problems that need fixing. If someone who isn’t a trans woman says, “trans women are racist.” they are being transmisogynistic. The entire culture is racist. Why are they singling out trans women other than prejudice?

I may expand on these ideas later, but that’s all for now.

worn

worn ragged

your hatred exhausts me

Why do you hate us so much?

What the fuck did I do to you to deserve such treatment?

Stop using me as your prop.

Stop trying to exterminate us.

That’s what you’re doing.

Extermination by marginalization.

Marginalization. funny word that. Denied housing, work, love of parents, access to shelters. More likely to be imprisoned.  Left to die in the cold.

Marginalization doesn’t really capture it.

And because of luck of the fucking draw I don’t have to deal with racism or colonialism on top of it.

We’re beaten to death, sometimes literally.

We have an astronomically high suicide attempt rate.

 

And you think we worry that you don’t find us attractive.

If it wasn’t indicative of the same attitudes that exterminate us, then I wouldn’t give a shit.

 

 

Allies, what the fuck are you doing to stop this shit?

Do you know?

content note: trans-misogyny, slurs

 

Do you know what it’s like to stand stone faced as your boss makes a transphobic joke and everyone laughs?

Do you know what it’s like to remain silent, because if you speak, you’ll scream obscenities at him and get fired?

Do you know what it’s like to work someplace where the most queer supportive person doesn’t give a damn about the discrimination you face and talks about eating at chik-fil-a?

Do you know what it’s like to be a thing? despised?

Do you know what it’s like to hold back tears, and keep working through your shift?

Do you know what it’s like to know that it doesn’t get better, that it’s only going to get worse?

Do you know what it’s like to be a stupid little tranny bitch?

Do you know?

Do you fucking know?

 

 

I’m gonna go cry now.

Hello, friendly cis girl

Hello friendly straight typically feminine cis girl. Just because you defy social norms about being open about and joking about sex does not mean that you are, “a man trapped in a woman’s body.”

Fuck you.

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

You do not get to use that phrase. You do not have to deal with all the shit that trans people do. 

That is all. Have a good day.

-Emily