Well, their response was non-optimal, but good enough. At least they told me they still loved me. I have no idea where things are headed from here with them, but either way, I have a series of long conversations with them ahead of me.
I’m moving to San Fransisco/the Bay Area in August!!!
The place I’m living is getting more and more unsafe. I need to leave soon. And I have friends and loved ones in the Bay. But moving is very expensive. I can’t rely on my parents to help me out here. I’m going to come out to them in mid-July, and they may just disown me. So I need those first month expenses covered.
Everyone who donates will finally find out where I live, and what I look like.
If we reach the $1500 mark, I will post the recipe that made my girlfriend say that I beat out all the best restaurants in San Francisco that we had eaten at while I was there.
I’ll take suggestions for the $2000 mark, and the $3000 goal.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but when we die, that’s it. The joy, pain, and everything in between is over. The best thing you can do for your parents is remember them. That way, they live on in you. That way, what they did can still affect the world through you. Cherish your memories. And most of all, if you can, and still have a good relationship with the family you have now, cherish and enjoy them while you can, because we only get this one life. Especially if you still have a good relationship with them. Trust me. This comes from someone who is having severe family problems and may be disowned by the majority of my family, though I don’t know for sure.
My parents did something that hurt me deeply, and I can’t tell them about it.
They had me take pictures with them with these “wax lips“. They have taken these pictures with most of the other members of my family. Now this might not sound that bad, but let me explain why this hurt me. These lips are exaggerated feminine lips, and the supposed comedy comes from the exaggeration on women and the femininity on men. So what this amounts to is a joke on exaggerated femininity on men. A man in a dress joke. A femmephobic, transphobic joke. And they want me to have a happy expression while they did this.
I hate having my picture taken, I always have.
I can’t stand looking at pictures of myself for the same reasons I can’t stand mirrors: dysphoria.
You want to make a transphobic joke out of me and femininity, and expect me to be happy about it.
And I can’t say anything about it for several reasons.
They’ve gotten pretty much everyone in my family to do it.
It’s my mom’s 60th birthday. That’s the reason I went up there.
I can’t refuse without getting into a huge fight and explaining why I don’t want to do it, outing myself as trans* in the process.
I can’t ruin my mom’s 60th birthday by getting in a huge fight and revealing that I’m transgender.
So I had to bite the fucking bullet. I hate having to pretend to be a straight male.
I’m headed up to my parents place for a few days. I won’t have any internet access. When I get back I’ll have a few blog posts ready to type up, and maybe even a sketch or two. In the meantime here is a work in progress for you to take a gander at:
Pastel or Pencil?
So my question is, Should I finish this in pastel or pencil? I don’t use pastel that much, so it might come out pretty badly if I try. Pencil is what I’m familiar with, although I’m almost as good with pen and ink. Please leave a comment letting me know which one you think I should use.