Tag Archive | power dynamics

Not just trans

I hate it when people follow me on twitter, just because I’m a trans woman. It’s a very peculiar type of microaggression. It isn’t even a part of my profile description. I have other thoughts and feelings. I mostly don’t even talk about being trans on there. Most of the people I talk to, well they respect me for other things, and I like them for who they are too. But sometimes, people just follow me, without ever having had a conversation with me, or with any mutual friends of mine. I’m a poet. Yes, a lot of my poetry is deals with oppression dynamics. But a lot of it isn’t. The oppression is part of my life, as is the dysphoria, and things like needing hrt. So those will end up in the things that I write. But these people don’t follow me because they like my poetry. I’m an artist. I just got my first commission. But are these people interested in my art? No. I like talking nail art with my friends. Are they follow me for that? No. I talk kink, and rope bondage. Are they interested in that? No. They just follow me because I’m trans.

I don’t even talk all that much about it these days. I’m too busy doing things. But all they see is trans woman. The fact that they are around doesn’t bother me all that much. It’s the inherent devaluation of all else I am and all else I do, and just seeing me as the oppressor does, by my status as a trans woman.

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I’ve lost the night.

I miss the night. I’ve lost all access to night spaces. The first time was temporary. When I ended my friendship with one of my abusers, he threatened me with a metal pole. After that, I didn’t think I was safe going outside at night while I still lived near him. Then I moved.

But when I moved, I started living as the woman that I am full time. I’ve experienced a fuckton of harassment, transphobia, and trans-misogyny. The other night I was propositioned while walking alone with a plate of food in my hands.

The night no longer belongs to me. It belongs to them. The ones with the power to harm me or not as they so choose. I used to wander and take long walks at night. I no longer can. I’ve lost the night.