Tag Archive | Queer

Portrait: gender

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Everyone who sees this picture brings their own biases to it, and interprets the gender of this person differently based on who they are and what their experiences have been.


Three years ago today.

sparse love

Three Years ago today
I flew over the Atlantic
My dad beside me
On our way to Ireland

It was the last time
That he loved me
That I wasn’t a burden
The family queer.

I have wonderful memories
Of time spent together
Laughing and bonding
A bond torn asunder.


I really need some time in queer space.

I’ve had a hellacious couple of days. Things I’ve been subjected to:

  • Transphobic jokes and remarks from just about everyone I know.
  • Homophobic rants, including one from someone who knows that I’m bi going off about their straight cis boss calling him a, “Queer ass, cock-sucking  ass-fucking, son of a bitch.” and someone else who doesn’t know about me talking about how he doesn’t hate gay people, but he doesn’t want to see them kissing in public. Well, there was a lot more detail, but let’s just leave it at that.
  • More than the average homophobic jokes on my double shift at work today
  • Having to witness some extreme sexual harassment of a co-worker, and not being able to stop it. At least she knows that I’ll be a witness for her if she wants to go to HR.

So yeah, Straight cis people, I really don’t want to hear from y’all right now. I think I’ve heard enough.

Words and phrases that I hate and why.

Privilege: Can we stop using this? It’s ineffective. I won’t deny the concept behind it. I recognize my own privilege. But when we use it in conversation, it just confuses people and we end up having to explain for twice as long then would be necessary to get  people to understand. “Check your privilege.” “You shouldn’t be telling us how to act because of your privilege.” Then people always get the idea that they are hated because of who they are. Seriously, how hard is it to just say the first time, “You don’t understand because you haven’t been there.” That’s simple, concise, and conveys what you are saying in words that don’t have to be decoded,  with no room for misunderstanding.

Male to Female/MtF: Not bad on its own. But I hate how some people use it. “She’s a Male to Female.” Or even worse, “He’s male to female.” It’s a way to deny that someone is actually female. It forever ties someone to their AAB gender.

Trannie/Tranny: If you have to ask, please kindly fuck right off. But in all seriousness, these are never acceptable under any circumstances. They are derogatory, and imply a threat.

Queer: I know this one’s going to be controversial. I understand how it is used. I understand that it is necessary. I understand why people like it. Hell, I even use it myself when it is appropriate. But I still can never shake the derogatory connotation from my brain, especially since it is still used as a slur.