At work, I have to keep my hair tied back. I’ve been using a pink elastic band. Sometimes I use a blue one as well for the Bi flag colors. I need to get some white ones for the Trans flag colors. But the pink alone is good for exposing prejudices. Today, someone finally made a comment about it. “Why in the hell are you wearing a pink hair tie?” That was the beginning of the rant. I responded, “What exactly is wrong with that?” No answer.You see, they can’t just come right out and say what they’re thinking, that femininity is bad. But it goes to show just one more example of how things coded as feminine are seen as inherently lesser. And how one question can sometimes shut someone up.
If I ever hear the phrase, “rape jokes are always funny,” again, it will be too soon. This comment was made by Tim as he was showing me the movie “Ted” made by Seth MacFarlane. The rape joke in question was a victim-blaming, “raped because of what I’m wearing,” joke made by the male protagonist. That movie is filled with sexism, homophobia, and especially egregious racism towards people of Asian backgrounds. I also got to sit through white-splaining about Kwanzaa which was ended by a statement that was racist enough that the people who were spouting unexamined racist statements even reacted with a WTF moment and changed the subject. “[racial slur removed] just want their own holiday.” That comment was made by Tim’s brother in law. Then there was Tim’s mom, making jokes about a male dog that Tim’s sister had put in doggie clothes. Transphobic and homophobic jokes. I assume that Tim didn’t tell them that I’m bisexual. I asked him to not spread that around.
I’m very open about being an atheist, but I guess Tim never mentioned that to his family, because they all acted like they were in the presence of fellow Christians. I didn’t bother to correct them because, hey I’m a guest at Christmas dinner in their house, and no matter how shitty they are being, I’m not going to do that.
Theories about a one world government leading to the end times a la “revelations.”
Christian Supremacy and lack of tolerance for people who aren’t Christian.
The entire day was infuriating and disheartening, except for seeing the movie “brave.” That was a great little movie, with a wonderful soundtrack. It has problematic elements, but overall is a net positive in terms of self-agency.
So, yeah, Christmas sucked for me.
Today I learned that I am a sexist because I am a binary trans* person. renetascian commented on a blog post by mx. punk. And I quote, “I did have another thought about your blog about being sexist. I am non-binary, but I realized if you were a binary transperson you would be sexist.” Oh really, I had no idea that because I happen to be a woman and not genderqueer that I am a sexist. Go on. “One example would be a transperson insulting another person for not getting surgery, or displaying hatred for cross-dressers.” Um, I probably will never be able to afford the surgery, and am afraid of losing all sensation, so I am non-op. That doesn’t make me non-binary. Even if I did get SRS, I would never judge someone for not getting it. I don’t hate cross-dressers, I’m just not one, and I don’t want to be told that I am one any more than you want to be told that you are a binary identified trans* person. How am I a sexist again? I don’t buy that gender is binary. I think that gender roles are bullshit. I believe that all genders should be equal. Why do you think that I am sexist again? And yet, you think less of me because I am a woman and binary identified. How are you not sexist? And by implication, you are saying that anybody who is cisgender is sexist, so why do you single out binary trans* folk? Why do you hate me?